fertility Issues

I never thought that i would do this, why i kept this a secret for almost two years now. My family doesn't even know about this. I just couldn't bare to tell them. Because this still hurts me to this day now. I have always wanted a mini me, a daughter or son. I would of love to spoil my child. and to give as much as love and attention to my angel. My daughter would of have the name Aurora, (Roe) for short. and if i had a boy, it would of been Adam.

But in my case and because of the disability that i have, and also because of my age as well, I am not able to have kids. I am fertile. I have my good days about this, and then i don't. it gets to me. But i know i would of been so lucky and happy. That i will have a miracle baby, just like I was. Because of my Down Syndrome, there would of been a chance that my baby would have Down Syndrome. I do carry the genetics. And it is a possibility.

I have been two fertility doctors, and i would get the same answers. Two years this December I have adopted a stray cat, He was left outside one day and he was only a couple months old, he is my baby now, We pretty much adopted one another. I have given him the cutest name ever, I don't know if you know this show or not, Perfect Strangers. It stars Bronson Pinchot and Mark-lynn Baker. they play cousins, Balki Bartokomous and Larry Appleton. Well, I name my cat Balki B. and my last name too.
Balki is a wonderful cat, He is my feline son. In my heart I do have a son, he is just my precious feline son. And i love my baby so much.

One more thing, once i post this blog, it will be seen by a family member. I think i am ok with that now.

Thank you.

My new place

I have exciting news to tell you all, I have been accepted for a brand new loft apartment. My bedroom is upstairs and my bathroom is downstairs through my kitchen. The place is wonderful. I happen to love it and the location, and i did all on my own, I went out one day and i stopped by Arbor Village Apts, and i have received a tour and the pictures are accurate, and Mary the staff and my new landlord is very nice, and has been helpful to me. And i can't wait to move Balki and myself into our new place in a few weeks from now.

I can imagine that Balki will love it, and how excitement he will get, he will have more space and hiding places too. And how i am going to decorate it for Christmas, I can see what i will be doing. I will also have new decorations for how i will have my new place set up, and i know what style i want. I will have more owls and butterflies. There are a few owl lamps that i would love to have, Amazon has these lamps that i have seen, and i would love to have them. I have been working on sorting and packing and getting ready for my move. My Aunt, Debbie and my cousin Jennifer have helped and hired these fine gentlemen, They are firefighters and Policemen, They will help me with my move on their days off, I actually don't have to lift anything. I like too, with the light stuff of course, and let the men take care of the heavy things, boxes and my furniture too.
I'm suppose to get this couch from my other aunt, but I'm not sure when i will get it, I have been waiting for awhile now. But i just have to be patient about that.

Any ways, I am waiting to move into my new place, and i am looking forward to it. I have been waiting for this for a very long time now. And it finally happened. So Thank you Arbor Village apts for accepting me.
Plan to be in my new place at least two years, and see what would happen after that... Have to wait.

thank you

Talking Stick

the time has come, as of this Tuesday, I will be at the Bohemian Rhapsody concert, Adam and Queen. I have been getting more excited and excited. This will be my third time seeing Adam Lambert and second time of seeing Queen.

Anyways, since i have bought the Fan VIP Package and to see what was included, i was actually having a hard time what part of it is and what i will be expecting. It toke me sometime to understand it. But now i do know what to expect, But it didn't mention if was able to meet and greet with Adam Lambert and queen. I would of love to meet them in person.
The one i was having trouble with and understanding was:

One Premium reserved price level 2 ticket to the show!
One VIP Commemorative concert Ticket

These two i was having some difficulties with, I have spoken with TicketMaster and they have explain it to me. I already have my ticket for the concert. I am on the Floor. At the Talking Stick Arena.
MY other package and special is a designed gift Item ( I hope its a T-shirt) that is what i want.)
I also get the:
One VIP Laminate Lanyard
One VIP reserved reserved price level  2 ticket to the show.

The only thing that didn't mention if i was gonna have the Meet and Greet. I would of jumped out of my seat and to many joys and happiness with that. I probably would be kind of speechless. and a photo opportunity would of been AWESOME.

[img]https://youtu.be/ne79MuCbgmQ[/img]

https://youtu.be/9h-vd8QiLLw

Btw, this is the greatest music video, and also Comin in Hot....
Now i am waiting for his new Album. Can't wait for that...

If i had to have a fetish: It would have to be Adam Lambert. In a excitement way of course. lol.

thanks

New place to live possibly.

Okay, it has been a while since i have been on here, the reason is because i have been swamped with my new job that i have got at the Az Mills Mall in Tempe. And also currently sorting and packing too. Balki and Myself are currently getting a new place to live. I have found a great place that i like to call home sweet home. Arbor Village apts. they have an loft apt, that i love so much that i would love to live there for a couple of years. its my plan and also that I have always dreamed of having a place with a loft apt with an upstairs. I actually love this place and plus that i will be a little more close to work, sort of, i would only take one bus to get there. and i like that.

Anyways, school has been officially over for me, I have graduated just May 10th 2019. And i am still waiting for my degree to come in the mail. I was told that it was sent out sometime in March, But i never got it. Not sure why? But i did called and find out what was going on with that. They have sent me another degree in mail today, I should have it by next wednesday. I hope it gets here soon. I worked hard on that. this chapter in my school education has come to an end. My family is proud of me, and i am proud of myself too. Thank you

And now, i am sorting and packing and getting ready to move, i have 9 weeks left to move, Hopefully i can be out and in my new place by August 31st. and not Sept 3rd. if that is possible. Mary, My new possibly landlord has been so nice and wonderful to me, she is amazing. She was the one that gave me the tour. I am looking forward to be a resident soon. The current place i am at now, I have been here since 2012. It was good here when i first moved in, i did had some friends here, but they are gone now, moved away. I only have one friend here, and she is nice. And she is also moving as well too. This chapter is coming to a close and so is my conversation. too.

 UpDate: I have the most and wonderful news: I have been accepted for a one loft bedroom apt. right here in Phoenix.  I am finally moving out of this 550 sgft and into a 575 sqft loft apt. I finally get to live in a nice home that i can actually call home sweet home. Counting the days and weeks when i can move in. Pick up my keys soon. AWESOME...

take care.

Expressing My Day

I am just a regular person, that i was having a good day like today. I have  been doing house work and looking for my art supplies because i am getting ready to decorate my cap. Nothing fancy, just something simple like an owl sticker and butterfly sticker. and saying that i did, i'm a graduate. simple. I also have news as well too. I can tell you all, but i am surprising my family on the day of the ceremony. I only told one person. And all i am doing is going on stage and i am making a speech, and who i want to thank for helping me and my education here. at the phoenix college. I never had the opportunity to do something like this before. And i want to do it. Tomorrow i meet with my counselor and mentor to go over my speech. I have been under stressed, i cry so easy these days, and i am thrilled and the excitement news i have been hearing, and the emotional ones when i loss my baby brother. its been almost two months now since his passing. But i am okay. Just hurting and excited for my college graduation, even though its only a community college i am so happy and proud of myself. I wish my parents were here with me, but i know they will in spirit. just like my brothers too. and my angels.

Anyways, I will be okay, and can finally get more things done, like a new place for me and Balki. My sweet kitty. he is napping right now.

I see as my blog here, is expressing my day and with news and sadness too. I have come a long way, to get where i am at. And this new job as a greeter, at the mall will be fun. Plus i will be at the mall everyday. well the days i work. I am thrilled.

Remebering My brother Eric

I don't know how to explain this, is the most difficult blog post for me. I want to say something about people who have committed suicide. And reason why I want to do this.

First, is its really sad and hurtful that someone hurts themselves. why? Idk. I have a big heart and i care about these people, even celebrities do this too. its an awful thing to end their lives. Like Robin Williams, I was shocked to hear that he had taken his own life. He will always be funny and always entertains us, I'm sure he is entertaining in heaven, That's what i like think. Nothing wrong with that.

Anyways, I have recently found out last month the night of the super bowl, The day after that i get a text from a family friend Cindy. She has informed me that my youngest brother Eric has taken his life. by committed suicide. He hung himself. I am still hurting and feel alone. My own brother. I know we havn't been that close but Eric was my baby brother. I will miss him deeply.

I remember the good times i had with my brother Eric, He was there for me when we were teenagers, He would actually go out and find the bullies that have hurt me, and have called me the worse name, to this day I still hate the word and being called a retard. No one has respect for that. I also hate the way people used that word for anything. We need to put a stop to it. thats what i want.


I have gone into a deep depression for days, then turn to two weeks that i wanted to shut everything out for awhile. I had to remind myself that we can't prevent it and try to stop it. Suicide is a disease, I hope i am not saying to much here, But i just want to express my feelings with what i care about. I remember a country artist that i like and still a fan of hers, Mindy McCready, she is talented and has a great voice, One of her hits, Ten Thousand Angels, is my favorite song that she recorded.

It's really sad to the loss of love ones, My brother May he rest In Peace. Eric I love you and i miss you everyday. what else hurts that i don't want my brother's remains. It scares me. It's just me and my younger sister now. I am afraid and concern. I just want what's best for her and to get well. And come home soon.

I an in tears, need end this post.
H. Kylene

Associates in fine arts

I did it, I am officially done with my college years, I have my associates in fine arts degree. I have come a very long road with my education. I also know in my heart that my parents are proud of me. and the rest of my family as well too. tbh, I didn't think i was gonna make it. But i proved to myself that once i put a goal to what i want and to have. I earned it. Just like when i was on the presidents honor roll. from my school it was incredible to have that, I couldn't believe that happened. that was like 2 yrs ago. It was awesome. 

Now that i am finished and waiting for May 10th 2019, My graduation Day. I also pick up my cap and gown next week. I feel like i want to cry:

Next Monday, i will be making a short clip to thank someone, and for all the help that this person has done for me. He has been so wonderful to me. Gene Heppard, Mr. Heppard helped me and told me about this program that can help me and get a waiver, that will get me dismissed from any type of math. That has helped and improved a lot for my education.  This program that i am on, its been almost a year since i got accepted. So far we have put together my resume, and have done a field trips to art galleries with one of my staff member, Dollie. She is my job coach and has been helping me with my budget too. so far so good, Now my other good news, I have my first job interview this Friday, get this the job i had applied for is, a costume character. for LegoLand Discover center, in Tempe. Its not exactly what i wanted but it's kind of close too. I am an artist. I want a job that involves in art. I am now part of the art world. I like to be famous one day. And have my own art shows and one day own my own art studio. I love just about everything. Ceramics, making art and jewelry. and i also love water colors and pastels too. And i most definitely love oil painting too. 

The most definite person that i have admire for years is Thomas kinkade, the painter of light. He is the main reason why i want to be an artist.  
signing off for now. 
H. Kylene