There are always Roads

First is this, My graduation. I have finally did it, and i will be actually graduating this May, I am thrilled and excited. I have purchased my cap and gown, However i don't get to pick it up just yet. Not until the end of the semester. April to May i will be able to pick it up, I can't wait. This is an excitement news that i have been looking forward too, for a long time now. since i started at Phoenix College. I will be finished with school now. Right now i am taking a fun class while i wait for my graduation day. yes Ceramics. I am making new things. But i also don't want to make too much this time around. The rest of my ceramic work is at home in boxes. I will have an associates in fine arts degree. How excited is that. I am an artist.

Now, I am currently looking for a brand new place. I'm tired of these dive apartments, I need something better and cheaper. And safe for me and Balki. Balki is my loving kitty, I got him a year ago. I wasn't planning on having a pet anytime soon, but once i saw him with my neighbor i knew i loved him and new what his name will be, Yes Balki from the tv show Perfect Strangers. I am a huge fan of that show. And i still watch it. I have the series that i got from Ebay over a year or two ago. something like that. Any how balki and i need to find a new place as soon as possible. We will be putting in our notice later in the summer. Just as soon as we get accepted to an apartment, and hopefully it will be my last move. I am actually tired of moving, i like to have a home that i can call home sweet home.

Okay, I have to admit something, but i can't explain it yet, and i'm not sure if i want to, but it is kind of private. but talking about it does help. I just don't know if i can accept this news. My relationship with Javier, Its been on a strange course, there are several roads to our future. I have found out that he has been lying to me all this time, 7 years. I guess i kind of new, but i just didn't want to accept it. And i still don't want too. Anyways i have been having these mixed feelings since last November 2018. I have been keeping it a secret for months now, i haven't told anyone yet, and what i know now. I also have been keeping a secret myself, and i wasn't ready to talk about it, because it hurts me that i get emotional about it, and that i am not able to have. "I'm sorry i can't bring it to myself and say it" I just can't.
There are roads to almost everything that i am working on. But there are roads, always roads.

Graduation Day 2019

I have some exciting and wonderful news to tell you all, With all the work and the studying that i have been through with, Is that i finally came to end of my college years at the phoenix community college. I am a graduate, Well, the ceremony is in fact in May of 2019. That's when they will have the commencement ceremony. However i have decided not to transfer after all. It was best that i ended with a associates in fine arts degree. And you know what, I am proud of myself, why you ask because i am a fighter, i actually stayed and didn't drop out, At first i wasn't too sure if i was going to make it, It got harder for me after the 2nd year. Plus it was more challenging too. My family is proud of me. I just wish that my parents was here and hear them to say that they are proud of me as well, But I know in my heart that they are proud of me, I loss both of my parents 4 years ago. It was so hard on me then, and now its still hard but i know they are in my heart forever, just like my older brother as well, he passed 2yrs ago. I believe that they will be there in spirit, and honoring me. with grateful and smiles and how proud they are. I can't believe that i did it, Omg, Thank you for everything. giving me life, and making the best move i ever did, living back in my home town, Phoenix Az is the best, and going to school and continuing my education. I don't care that i went to a community college, it was the best and opportunity that i did. Now i can concentrate on my graduation Day in May 2019. All i have to do now is to take grad Trax session, that is to prepare me for the graduation. I just have to take that Next month. school starts again, but i don't need classes, grad trax is all that i need.

I really want to take ceramics, I just have to pay for that, its like $320 for the class for the semester. But i can do payments, but i'm still not sure if i can, as much as i want too. But it is what i want to do until my graduation day in May, And would be nice to hang out with my friends too. Ceramics is the best class ever, I love making new things. especially muppets, to owls and butterflies. I have new ideas that i want to do. I am going to see what i can do about taking ceramics class.

In closing, I am counting the days, weeks, and months to my graduation Day. May 10th 2019.
Did you all know that i am the first child of my siblings to go to college and make something good for myself, and you know what i am so happy and proud of myself, that i made something in my future, I know what i want, and this is just the start of it, Now i am hoping to have the home of my dreams, I am tired of moving from apartment to an apartment. I want a home, that i call home sweet home, and no more moving. I do dream of my home, i even think about having a tiny house. I love them, I can picture how i want it to be and the design, But that is dream and a fantasy that i want. But all i care about is to be happy and give Balki a good home for us. Balki is my cat, he is a wonderful and caring and he is my emotion support animal. Yes he is, He is rent free. I wish my rent was free too. that would be awesome, but i don't see that happening. but i can think about it. Okay, now i may concentrate with my graduation Day coming.

End of the road

Well it is coming to end for me here at phoenix college, it has been a great adventure here. I have been here since 2013. And when i first started i wasn't sure what career path that i wanted to do. I have several careers that i would want and love to do. My first dream was to become an actress, I have always dreamed of working with Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke.I idolize these two for many years now. I have always wanted to do a movie with Julie and Dick, they are amazing and what else can i say about these two, oh yeah i actually share the same birthday with Mrs. Andrews. That's right i actually share the same bday. when i first found out about it i was so thrilled and excited that i get to share my bday with her. I would of been honored to meet her. it would've been great and to have that opportunity. One day i hope too. Anyways i am getting a little off track about my topic, lol. Phoenix college has been so wonderful to me. And i have been getting help with almost everything. except one, but they can't really help me with that. anyhow it truly has been amazing with my adventure here. I am actually counting down to the day that i will graduate. December of this year. All i have to do is past these three classes that i have, one is i am retaking because i didn't do so well last semester, and i need to pass this class in order to my graduation day. Plus i am working girl too. I just been rehired to work at the fitness center here at my school. my hrs are great and the extra money will come in handy for me. and to help me with my expenses like my rent and grocery shopping too. and maybe i can do something nice for myself. I do tell myself no once in awhile because it is not a need, it is a want. Sometimes i have to have it too. But that all depends on what i see and how much i would want it. I'm doing it again, lost track about my education. However, just recently i have been accepted for a waiver that had got me dismissed from math, all the math classes. because i have a hard time and trouble grasping the material. I cant seem to understand and how to do it. Luckily my PH Doctor who i saw few months ago, diagnosed me with math problems, but he also diagnosed me with depression. I get so emotional more than i was before. its still hard on me, but i go day at a time.

Now i have been thinking about my career choice and what i wanted to do, and i have decided on art, yes i am an artist. I love art and how it represents me and how i feel about it too. I love everything like from ceramics, to sketching and painting. and i also love to build things too. I would love to build my dream home and decorate the way i wanted it to be. One day i would love to have that opportunity. My dad was a hand builder, he would make all these types of furniture, My dad Harold, was an amazing dad and be what he wanted to do. It will be 4 yrs this October that i loss my dad. he passed away unexpectually. And i had taken his passing very hard, and i still do. it still hurts to this day. I love you dad and i miss you, and mom. I know that you will be there in spirit to see me graduate and to accept my art degree on that graduation day.

I have worked to hard to get where i am at now, and i am so proud of myself to make it this far, when i first got my first A in my class i had called my mom and gave her the good news, and mom was very proud of me. And she said "My daughter Kylene has gotten her first A in college." I will never forget that day when i told my mom. It was also very hard that same yr after my dad passed i had loss my mom two months after my dad passed away. To close to Christmas in 2014.  I had lost it and got myself into a depression and had lost my bday and Christmas spirit. After the holidays was over i had been lonely more than ever. It has been so hard that yr and 2015 and present now. The last night i had saw my dad was the night of my bday. i'm turning 40 yrs old this yr, and i am not looking forward to my age, or my day. because it was the last time i saw my dad before he passed. "i'm doing it again losing track here.

Lets end to counting down to my graduation day in December of this year 2018.
thank you

graduation day December 2018.

I can't believe that its coming to an end, being at phoenix college has been a journey for me. it was a wonderful experience since i wanted to be in college. okay its not an actual university college. Phoenix community college was the greatest and best experience in the last 4 years. since i join this school in 2013. and now its 2018. and its time to say good bye. I will miss everything about school. And how it got me out of my apartment and do the things that i wanted to do in life. I am a artist. and i am proud of where i am to be at in my life. Having an associates in fine arts degree is what i wanted. I had recently thought about transferring to ASU in Tempe and wanted to continue with my education. I wanted to see about getting a bachelors in fine arts. I still want to do that, but recently my PH doctor doesn't recommend. from all the stress that i have been going through. And the loads of classes that i have been taking for my requirements and trying to finish school. I hate that its been a little stressful. I can't even retake the ceramics class. And that was relaxing me because it takes all the stress off of me. That's why i kept on taking this class. because it was helping me with my stress. I have joined the fitness center at school that i can take my stress off on too. I have also found out that my insurance, will pay for any gym memberships. And that is cool. I don't have to pay for the membership. my health insurance will. that is awesome. I am finally getting all the things that i wanted. My biggest stress right now is finding a new apartment for me and my cat, Balki. Balki has been so great to me since he was found on my porch just last December 2017. So many things are coming good for me, The one thing that was so stressful was a certain subject that i don't like and i had to try and do the best that i could. That's why i was luckily to have a great school counselor that told me about this program that can help me and possibly get a waiver that will get me dismissed.  Which i got, and this is fantastic news for me. it has been a journey and i will miss being at phoenix college. I'll probably be to excited and crying on my graduation in December.I will be a college graduate....

Graduation Day coming soon

I have some wonderful news to tell you all. Just recently I have been accepted for a waiver, From a PH doctor, He diagnosed me with depression, I am okay but that's not the great news. The waiver is the greatest and sensational news. I have been officially been dismissed from math. This has been the news i have been waiting for. I no longer have to take math anymore. I can't believe this, You know what this means? It means that i will be graduating in the fall. Dec 2018. I will be a college graduate. I will have my associates degree for fine arts. I can't believe its coming to an end. It has been a journey for me. Since i started school. It sure was a challenge. And i loved every minute of it. It has been wonderful. My family is very proud of me. I can't to get on that stage and accept my degree. I was planning on transferring to ASU, But Dr. Hixon doesn't recommend me continue with ASU, He wants me to finish and graduate from phoenix college. And be done with. Plus i have to take counseling, and they will be helping and providing me with a job, means they can help me find a job. But they don't help with housing, Wish they did, but i was told that they don't. Bummer too because i could really use the help and find a new apartment. I can't afford this apt anymore. I need a lot cheaper place. And something more nicer for me and my cat Balki. Any ways  i wanted to give good news, plus its been awhile since i used my blog here. I just don't always post, i do when i have good news. basically. But i think i can make this more normal activity for me. I like it, and keeps me busy kind of. Well i need to get off i have finals i need to get done tonight. Talk soon.
Kylene

Merry christmas everyone

mmmjHappy Holidays.
Its been a rough year, and its also been kind of a good year too. Its still hard on me during this time of year. I miss my parents and my brother so much. I know they are watching out for me. and want to see me to do the right things. And i have been doing everything right. School is going good. I been told by one of my mentors that i only have two more semesters to go and i can finally graduate next fall of 2018. That's if i pass the math092. and yes i still have to take one more college level of math. Its gotten more tougher this time. And i am trying the best that can. Anyways school semester is coming to an end. And i am still sad that i can't returned back to ceramics class. I have been having so much fun with this class. I am still going to do ceramics. when i transfer to ASU in tempe they have a ceramic classes there. And they have my bachlors degree there too. I want to get my bachlors. i am about to get my associates degree in fine arts at phoenix college. And i can't wait. I know my family will be proud of me. I can't wait to get on tha stage and accept my art degree. I'm also going to try for a scholarship too. So that i can attend ASU in Tempe, and i would actually want to  move to Tempe while i am attending at ASU. I love Tempe, when i go to the movies i now go to the AMC theater there. I havn't been to the movies in awhile. I would like to see a new movie again . maybe before i am back in school. I am not into horror movies, but i do like the Halloween movies with Jamie lee Curtis, I found out awhile ago that she is repriseing her role again for another Halloween movie. And i am actually interesting and want to see this at the AMC theater. And i would like to invite Javier, my boyfriend to go with me. He loves horror movies. 

Well, this year has been a challenged. And i hope my new year 2018. is better and hopefully to have everything new in my life. New apartment, I wish i could afford a house but i can't. but it would be nice. Everyday when i walk on Earl st on my way to school there is this house that i have my eyes on. I love the color and the shape of the house and i would love to have something like that someday. I have a presentation to put together for next weeks potluck and final night of class. And then i am officially on christmas break. until school starts again. Please help and pray for me with this math final. I want to do good again and pass. 

Take care for now, and i will be back soon. 
Merry christmas!

What or why

What or why isn't this person being totally committed, and does he or she love you. Really. How can you be totally committed to someone when that person had lied to you or has been keeping secrets from your love one, I mean does he or she really love you, and will be completely in love with you. How can you tell if they really love you. Do I look into his or her eyes, can that be a clue on to see if they are telling the truth. Are we really in a relationship. Or is just F.W.B. Should this person stop giving her significant other surprises.

Can someone plz, tell me does this person really love you. Does he or she asked you "Are you being hit on, or is someone flirting with you." When you go out with a friend, lets say you go to karaoke on a Saturday night, Do you actually sing, or go and hit on stranger. hmmm?

What happens when you discovered, that this person has lied to you in the past, Should this person approach him or her and just come straight out, and tell this person that you know the truth. Or keep the info. to yourself. Will it stress this person so bad that he or she will burst it out one day, after knowing the truth.

Will you have the courage and to purpose to your love one, Are you ready for the marriage and the life and commitment. And have the family you been wanting to have.

IS your relationship, truthfully, and honest, or is it all lies and leads you on for a long time. ARE you actually in love.

To be continued....